Swotting Up Read online

  ‘I think you’re misunderstanding the word volunteer,’ drawled Jessica, leaving her seat and dragging Alan up with her.

  Erik pointed to the door. ‘Alan, I want you to stand outside. Jessica–’ He pointed to the top tier of the seating. ‘You go up there.’

  As Alan shuffled reluctantly out, Jessica clicked her fingers and sent herself to the top of the room.

  ‘Now, Jessica, I want you to send a freezing spell at Alan.’

  Jessica twirled her fair hair in her fingers with one hand, her other hand on her hip. ‘You want me to freeze him? But I can’t even see him. And anyway, I thought you said we were doing this mythical Sliogán thing today.’

  He arched a brow. ‘And you think that we can just jump right into this so-called mythical spell? Baby steps, Miss Berry. Now concentrate on your good friend Alan, and send a freezing spell his way.’

  Jessica’s face was red with anger, but she stared at the door, her forehead crumpled as she concentrated. A moment later, she extended her hand and said, ‘Conáil.’

  ‘Good,’ said Erik with a smile. ‘Now let’s see if it worked.’ He pointed his wand at the door and said, ‘Oscail.’ The door sprang open, to reveal Alan standing there.

  ‘What?’ said Alan. ‘Why’s everyone staring at me?’

  Erik ignored Alan and looked around at the students. ‘Alan might look like a rabbit caught in the glare from a wizard’s wand, but I think we can all agree that he is not frozen.’ He nodded to me. ‘You try, Wanda. Change places with Jessica.’

  The door slammed shut in Alan’s face, and I clicked my fingers and took myself to the top of the room. Jessica crossed her arms, glaring at me as she muttered, ‘It’s not really fair, is it? A professional against a student?’

  I gritted my teeth and ignored her. I didn’t stare at the door, like she had done. What would be the point? Instead I held an image of Alan in my mind. He was one of the few students who actually gave me the time of day – well, he had said hello to me once or twice, anyway. But so far, at Crooked College, those one or two hellos from Alan meant that he was the nicest person I’d met, so the last thing I wanted to do was freeze him. Seeing as I doubted it could work through the thick, heavy doors anyway, I whispered, ‘Conáil.’

  Once again, the professor opened the doors with an ‘Oscail,’ command. I stared out along with the others at Alan. He was absolutely still, and quite clearly frozen on the spot.

  Erik blinked, stared at Alan and then at me. ‘Well, there you go,’ he said, sounding rather bemused. ‘Mind over matter has triumphed. Well done, Wanda.’

  I undid the freezing spell, and Alan relaxed. ‘I didn’t like that,’ he said. ‘Not one little bit. I don’t think I’ve ever been under a freezing spell so strong. Glad you managed it though, Jessica.’

  Jessica glowered at me. ‘I didn’t. Little Miss Perfect wins the day, yet again.’

  Erik beckoned Alan inside, and then began to pace the room. ‘Wanda has got far more experience than any of you, it’s true. Being a Wayfair – excuse me, a Wayfarer – means using a blend of defensive and offensive magic each and every day. Those good people who protect you don’t want to kill the criminals. They want to subdue them. To overpower them so that they can be arrested and made to stand trial. When I worked with the Wayfair coven, each and every member could have easily killed their enemies at any given moment, but they chose not to. They chose good over evil, and that is the essence of defensive magic.’

  He turned to look at Jessica. ‘But even the Wayfairs, or the Wayfarers, or whatever the latest police force happen to be calling themselves, do not use Sliogán spells. Wanda has never done a Sliogán spell. She is starting from the same point as the rest of you on this. She did not do a Sliogán spell today, but she made the first step. The step that proves that mind over matter is far more important than we witches allow.’

  Jessica cast another glower in my direction. ‘Smug little witch,’ she muttered.

  ‘We somehow manage to forget that we use such complicated magic every day,’ Erik went on. ‘We use it in each and every spell. When we travel with the use of coordinates, that is a pure example of mind over matter. When a healer cannot see the heart, and yet manages to save a patient suffering from a heart attack by pointing their expert healing wands at the body instead of ripping it open as humans do, that is mind over matter. When we magic an item from one room to the next, or even summon something from one house to the next, that is mind over matter. We do this almost all the time, and we do it without thinking. So why do we think this spell is so impossible?’ He shook his head. ‘It isn’t impossible. Nothing is. For the rest of the week we’ll be concentrating on sending spells to opponents from afar. Once we’ve accepted that it’s possible to hurt someone from the other side of the world, then I think we will finally be ready to protect ourselves from such a distance.’

  5. Max the Meek

  I was exhausted after my Defensive Magic class. Not from doing the freezing spell, though. I was just tired of constantly being seen as an outsider. I might have more experience fighting criminals, but all of that experience was squashed into the space of just over a year. I meant what I said to Professor Shannon – I really was bumbling along, both then and now. Sure, I was powerful, but I hadn’t had my whole life to learn how to control and direct my power like the others in my class. And I wanted to learn how to do things the right way. I’d been a nerdy child, and I was a nerdy grown-up, too.

  When I clicked myself home to my kitchen, Dizzy was seated on the table, enjoying an enormous plate of mango slices. They didn’t call my familiar the Lesser-Known Mango Bat for nothing. He’d tried every other kind of fruit, and found it wanting. He praised mangoes with giving him his handsome looks and adorable attitude – they clearly gave him a healthy sense of self-esteem, too.

  I gave him a quick cuddle and then glanced over at Max, who was standing at the cooker, stirring what looked like a veggie Bolognese sauce. A pot of spaghetti was bubbling away alongside, and I could smell garlic bread in the oven. My stomach rumbled, but judging by the two wine glasses, two place settings, and the romantic candle flickering on the kitchen table, this wasn’t going to be a meal at which I was welcome.

  ‘Is Emily coming over?’ I asked as I shrugged my coat off and warmed my hands against the radiator.

  Max nodded his head to the ceiling above. ‘She’s here already. She’s just putting on some slippers up in my room.’

  ‘That’s why I’m having my dinner early,’ said Dizzy with a hint of scorn. ‘Because Emily doesn’t want to listen to me sucking and chomping on my mango.’

  Max shook his head. ‘It’s not like that. She just hoped that she and I could have a romantic dinner together, that’s all.’ He smiled at Dizzy. ‘Anyway, you like to eat your dinner at this time. You’ve told me you like to give your food a chance to settle before you head out for the night.’

  The little bat raised his head and nodded towards the back door. ‘That’s not really the point though, is it? I mean, I’m not the only one who’s surplus to requirements this evening, am I?’

  I followed Dizzy’s gaze to the back door. ‘Who’s out there?’

  Max made an uncomfortable cough. ‘It’s em … it’s Wolfie. Just while me and Emily eat our dinner.’

  There was a mournful whimper from outside. ‘But you like eating dinner with Wolfie,’ I said. ‘Especially if you’re having spaghetti. You always say there’s no joy in the world like watching Wolfie eat spaghetti.’

  Max’s lower lip began to wobble. ‘I know, but Emily … she thinks it’s unhygienic, having him in the room while we eat.’

  I heard another whimper from the back garden. ‘But why outside? It’s chilly tonight, Max. It’s supposed to freeze, in fact. Couldn’t he just hang out in another room while you eat? You know he’d be perfectly happy anywhere as long as he has some toys with him and somewhere comfy to lie.’

  Max’s lip wobbled again. ‘Emily’s sleeping in my bed tonight. She made me change the sheets and the covers and she doesn’t want them to get hairy again. And the same with the couch. She made me vacuum it a while ago, and she wants it kept clean. She says she’s sick of getting dog hair all over her leggings.’

  I stared at Max. Ever since he’d started going out with Emily there had been issues. Issues that always seemed to be resolved, but never actually were. She was constantly promising she’d change, but all she did was make more demands. Right now, Max had gel in his light-brown hair. Gel. And he was wearing tight-fitting jeans that I’d never seen him wear before. He’d always been so sure of himself, and had worn what was comfortable instead of what was fashionable.

  Most importantly, he would never let himself be bullied into leaving Wolfie outside on a cold night.

  ‘I see she’s given you a makeover too,’ I said, trying – and failing – to tamp down the distress that I was feeling. ‘It doesn’t suit you.’ I pulled at the back door, and Wolfie jumped into my arms. ‘Come on sweetheart,’ I said, cuddling the enormous Irish wolfhound close. ‘You can hang out in my bedroom for the night, okay?’

  He glanced at Max. Max who he loved more than anything in the world. Max who loved Wolfie just as much in return. ‘I love you, Max,’ he said.

  Max turned and looked at the dog, tears in his big brown eyes. ‘I love you too, buddy. Now go on upstairs with Wanda. Before Emily sees you in the house.’

  ≈

  As I settled Wolfie on my bed, he was shaking violently. I set a bowl of water on the floor, and gave him a few of his favourite, bone-shaped biscuits. ‘How are you doing?’

  He let out a soft but mournful whine. Dizzy flew into the room and headed for the light fitting above my bed. ‘He’s miserable, Wanda. We all are. What’s going on? Emily
’s been worse than ever today, and Max isn’t even attempting to stand up to her.’

  Wolfie slowly chewed his treats, and then buried his face in his paws. ‘Emily never used to be like this. She used to love me. She used to walk me all the time. And … and … and she used to be nice.’

  I shook my head in exasperation, with no idea how to answer. Wolfie was right. Emily did used to be nice. I liked her so much before she started going out with Max. And every now and then she showed signs of being the old, sweet Emily from back then. But this … this was a new low. It was as if she was so dissatisfied by her relationship with Max that she was trying to change everything about him. And that was something I could almost understand, I supposed – if I could put myself in her paranoid and controlling shoes.

  But while Emily’s motivations might have been vaguely understandable, Max’s were confusing as heck. For months he’d been trying hard to make things work with her. He’d done more than enough to convince her that nothing was ever going to happen with him and me. The little that had happened was only because of a love potion. I’d seen him bend over backwards, afraid to argue with her, all because he was guilty about something that had never been his fault. But despite how much he had done just to please his girlfriend, I had never seen him put Wolfie second before.

  I’d confronted Emily in the past, when I caught her with a perfume that was meant to make Max more attracted to her. For the sake of Wolfie, I was afraid I might have to confront her again. Because whoever that guy in the kitchen was, he was not the Max I knew.

  I kissed the dog’s enormous head and stroked him. ‘Don’t worry about it, Wolfie,’ I said soothingly. ‘I have to go out for a couple of hours. But I’ll sort it all out as soon as … well, as soon as I can figure out what’s going on.’

  ≈

  ‘That’s a super-fancy dress,’ said Melissa as I passed her in the hallway. Judging by her pretty trouser-suit, she was on her way home from work. ‘So are you taking Finn up on his offer, then? You’re finally going to meet the Queen?’

  I sighed inwardly. Ever since Finn had offered Melissa a position as a Wayfarer, he’d been calling her regularly to see if she’d changed her mind. Or at least that’s how their daily chats had begun. But once Melissa passed her LOL exam and became a legally operating lawyer, she’d chosen a legal job instead – and it was the right decision, because these days she was the happiest witch alive. She was now a partner to Miles Master, a lawyer who was doing a lot of good work for underprivileged supernaturals. They were the perfect team, and Finn had finally given up on convincing her to work with him. Although he might have stopped trying to poach her, their phone calls hadn’t come to an end, so it was no surprise to hear that they’d been gossiping about me.

  ‘I haven’t dressed up for the Queen,’ I said stubbornly. I had, although I wasn’t altogether sure why I was being a defensive idiot about it. ‘I’m heading out for a drink afterwards, with em … with some friends from college.’

  ‘Oh?’ Melissa gave me a big smile. ‘So they’ve invited you to the party at Doolittle Dorm, then? Well, it’s about time they stopped treating you like dirt.’

  I could feel a flush creep up my neck. Another party I wasn’t invited to? Wonderful. I was really fitting in at college. ‘Yip,’ I said, not meeting her eyes. ‘That’s exactly where I’m going.’ I moved closer to her. ‘Did you see Emily when you came in?’

  ‘I did, but I seriously wish I hadn’t. She told me to take off my shoes because Max had just polished the kitchen floor. And speaking of Max, what’s going on with that new hairdo? It’s all … slicked back and …’ She shivered. ‘ … and creepy looking.’

  ‘It’s weird,’ I agreed. ‘I’m worried about it, to be honest. Emily didn’t want Wolfie eating spag bol in the kitchen with them, so Max put him out in the garden. I’ve taken him in and left him on my bed but … will you be around for the next couple of hours? Wolfie’s really upset, and I’m having second thoughts about leaving him.’

  Melissa’s green eyes had been growing wider and wider as I spoke. ‘But Max loves watching Wolfie eat spaghetti! And he’d never leave him out in the garden on a chilly night like tonight. It’s supposed to freeze!’ She balled her fists. ‘She’d better not try that nonsense with Princess, or I will not be held responsible for the spells I send her way. I was heading over to Mack’s, but I’ll ask him to come over here instead. We were only going to order pizza and watch TV anyway. We’ll keep Wolfie company until you get home.’

  6. Meeting Her Majesty

  My life in the magical world left me under no illusions. I knew that witches weren’t all cute and quirky magic-makers. Some of us were downright rotten and, because of that, the Irish faeries had closed their enclaves off to us a long, long time ago. Nowadays, the only way you could enter sióga territory was with an invitation. Preferably with an escort, too.

  We had the invitation, thanks to Finn being ridiculously attractive to all woman-kind. And as for our escort, well, she was pretty attractive, too.

  We met her outside Three Witches Brew. She was wearing a flowing white dress, her feet were bare, and her long, titian hair was curled to perfection.

  ‘I’m Wendy,’ she said, stepping forward and shaking my hand. ‘And there’s no need to introduce yourself, Wanda. I’m just glad Finn finally convinced you that the Queen is well worth meeting.’ She turned to Finn, giving him a flirtatious grin. ‘Still going out with that gorgeous weredog?’

  Finn nodded. ‘Lassie and me are most definitely still together. And I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy in my life.’

  Wendy let out a sigh filled with mock-heartbreak. ‘I suppose I’ll just have to search the world until I find someone as gorgeous as you. Her Majesty’ll be broken-hearted too. You know she has quite the crush.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ said Finn. ‘Can we just get on with this? Where’s tonight’s entrance? Your place again?’

  Wendy shook her head. ‘It’s in the Wandering Wood all right, but not my place. Put these on.’ She held out two bracelets, both made of a shimmering metal. ‘Then each of you take one of my hands, and we’ll travel together.’

  As I slipped on my bracelet, I glanced at her teeth. When she’d smiled at Finn I’d seen them grow sharp and shiny, then they flashed back to normal again. I’d seen teeth like that on the guy who had run the mask store on Samhain Street. Guillermo Moriarty. He’d insisted he was a witch, but I hadn’t believed him. Now that I was meeting Wendy, I was sure that whatever Guillermo was, Wendy was too. But there was one difference between them – I trusted Wendy.

  I took one of her hands, and Finn took the other. She didn’t need one free, because she didn’t used need to click her fingers. And as a blinding white light surrounded us, I felt like the world around me was shifting. I’d travelled like this before, so I now knew exactly what Wendy was – which meant that I finally knew what the mask-maker had been too: Púca.

  Púca were shapeshifting tricksters, living in the sióga realm. Some of them were regular visitors to the witch enclaves, though, to work for the Wayfarers. In the form of horses, they ferried carriages about, using their magic to transport the police force as quickly as the click of a finger. Seeing as, these days, many of the Wayfarers were not witches, the Púca transport was a necessity. There were far more forms that these shape-shifters could take, though. From what I heard, becoming a goat and eating all of the washing on the line was a favourite joke of theirs.

  And then there was the other Púca – the one Will said had been following his father. That sounded more like the stories of the Púca that I’d been told as a child – untrustworthy tricksters with power that could only be trumped by the fae.

  When the white light stopped and the world ceased to lurch and shift around me, we were still in the woods, standing next to an old, run-down shed. There was no door – or at least there wasn’t until Wendy waved a hand, and an extremely narrow golden door appeared. ‘Go through,’ she said.