Old-School Witch Read online

  22. I See Dead People … And Animals?

  As we ate our breakfasts (I had a Full Irish while Pru had some black pudding sandwiches and a red smoothie), I was still reeling from the news that Ron was even worse than I’d thought. I did some quick searches on the supernatural search engines while Pru popped to the loo, and she was right – Ronaldo the Righteous was like Vlad’s Boys on steroids. He had killed his way through anyone who disagreed with him, and left a pile of well-drained bodies in his wake.

  ‘Silver sickle for them,’ said Greg, sliding in next to Pru, shortly after she returned from the loo.

  ‘Hmm?’ We both looked absentmindedly his way.

  ‘It’s not like the two of you not to be chatting away ten to the dozen,’ he pointed out, stealing one of my sausages. ‘I’m guessing that means you haven’t had any bright ideas about who might have been pulling the butler’s strings.’

  ‘Don’t remind me,’ I groaned. ‘I’m more confused than I’ve ever been. The only magical thing I’ve seen lately has been that stupid owl that no one else can see.’

  ‘That’s because it’s a ghost,’ said my dad, stopping by with a coffee pot in his hands. ‘Sorry to earwig. I was on my way with a top-up and I couldn’t help but overhear. If you’re seeing something no one else is, and it’s got a yellowish glow about its eyes, then it’s a ghost.’

  ‘But I used to see Maude, the houseghost at the Vander Inn. She wasn’t this clear to me. Not for a while, anyway.’

  ‘That’s because your power is developing,’ he explained. ‘After a while you’ll easily tell ghosts and humans apart. When I was a kid they were hazy, and later again they had glowing yellow eyes. That’s the way many of us lot see them.’

  ‘By us lot,’ said Greg, ‘you mean the supremely powerful beings known as the sióga?’

  ‘Yip.’ My dad topped up our cups and took a seat. ‘You’ll see it differently as you age. All of it. But for now, my money is on that mysterious owl being a ghost.’

  ‘But … is that even a thing?’ I wondered. ‘Do animal ghosts normally hang around? I thought ghosts usually just popped out to say hello at Halloween.’

  ‘No.’ Pru shook her head. ‘Most do, it’s true, and only witches – and the sióga, I guess – can see them. But those ghosts are people who have happily passed over – relatives using the magic of Halloween to say hello. There are lots of ghosts who stick around no matter what time of year it is, because they have unfinished business, or because they’re just too stubborn or evil to pass on. Remember those pirates? Feckless Finnegan and his crew? They sailed the seas non-stop because they felt like it. Sure, most of them only docked at Halloween, but they were out there all year round. I’ve worked on ghost ships before, as an entertainer. Sometimes they’re manned by people who just aren’t ready to pass over. Sometimes it’s more nefarious criminals. They pay a lot so I won’t tell the Undertakers their whereabouts.’

  I shivered. I’d seen the Undertakers last Halloween. They sailed a ship called the Floating Coffin, and they were a supernatural police force for the seas – taking in the sea-ghosts who got out of hand.

  ‘And you can see them?’ my father asked with interest. ‘Those ghosts on the ships?’ Personally, I was more interested in why ghosts would want their futures read.

  She shook her head. ‘Not exactly. I can feel them, though. Feel their minds and their presence. Actually, that’s an idea,’ she said. ‘This owl could be magical, right? It could be trying to communicate with you.’

  ‘It seems that way,’ I admitted. ‘But even if those super-yellow eyes are just a sign of my advancing power, they creep me out. I’m not sure I’d trust what it has to say – or hoot – to me.’

  ‘But if it did talk to you, and I happened to be in the vicinity,’ Pru said, ‘then maybe I could compare what it was telling you it wants to what it actually wants.’ She flicked her hair. ‘A ghost-owl won’t get one over on a vamp like me.’

  Greg was giving her some seriously googly eyes. ‘I am in awe of you,’ he said. He didn’t seem to realise he’d said it out loud until we all turned to look at him. ‘I mean, of your power,’ he corrected. ‘Speaking of power, how come you have some, Brian? There’s electricity here today while the rest of the town’s having a blackout. Aren’t you on the human grid like everyone in Riddler’s Edge?’

  My dad shrugged. ‘We are. But … there are ways around it if you’re sióga.’ He gave my waist a squeeze. ‘I’ll ask your granny to add it onto her list of things to teach you.’

  ≈

  We tried to call Jared a few times, to no avail, so after breakfast Pru and I headed to the old school. The weather was becoming progressively worse, but Miss Eager was there, along with most of the members of the society.

  They had gathered up some of the items from inside the school – precious few, it seemed. My father’s spell was clearly working, seeing as a quick peek through the windows showed that no one had touched any of the school’s magical items.

  ‘Oh, hello Pru, hello Aisling,’ she said. Her quiet voice was back again, and her collar was once again buttoned right to the top. I was no longer buying her Little Miss Innocent act. Judging by the look on Pru’s face, neither was she.

  ‘Catriona,’ she said coldly. ‘We’re looking for my brother.’

  Catriona squeezed her eyes shut and let out a mournful sigh. ‘He’s been and gone, I’m afraid. He got the wrong end of the stick about something silly, and we had a flaming row.’

  ‘Something silly?’ Pru narrowed her eyes. ‘I’d hardly call you kissing a married man something silly.’

  While Catriona remained outwardly meek, I could see just a touch of a smirk playing on her lips. ‘Yes, but he’s not actually married, is he? Ron’s quite a lot of fun, you see, whereas Jared … well, when he took me to dinner the other night, he left me on my doorstep without so much as a kiss goodnight.’

  ‘He was being a gentleman,’ Pru growled.

  ‘Yes, well … I see that now. But I was feeling a little lonely and rejected, especially when he didn’t call me last night. I took a walk on the beach and just happened to run into Ron. He has this way about him, doesn’t he?’ She gave us what I guessed was meant to be an apologetic shoulder-shrug. ‘I know he’s nothing but a womaniser, and I was just being naïve to think he saw me as anything more than a bit on the side. I hate to say this, Pru but … maybe your mother ought to think twice about remarrying him. A leopard doesn’t change its spots.’

  Pru stared at the history teacher, seemingly lost for words, so I took the reins.

  ‘I saw you last night, Catriona,’ I told her. ‘There’s nothing naïve about you. Ron might be a creep, but you’re just as bad.’

  With that, I grabbed Pru’s hand and we walked away. As we headed back towards the road, though, the back of my neck began to tingle. I turned and saw it again: the yellow-eyed owl, sitting on top of the same turret as before.

  ‘There!’ I said triumphantly, pointing at the owl. ‘Try and read its mind, Pru. See if it’s just a random animal-ghost or a magical animal-ghost.’

  ‘I can definitely sense a ghost in the area. I’ll try and reach out to any energies that are reaching out to you.’ Pru squeezed her eyes shut, but the owl flew quickly out of sight. ‘Sorry,’ she said, clearly frustrated. ‘I felt like I connected for a split second, but something frightened it off.’

  ‘What did you feel though?’ I asked. ‘For that split second? Is it going to ask me to share a mouse, or is it going to claw my eyes out with its talons?’ I’m not sure which of those scenarios sounded worse, to be honest.

  Pru shook her head. ‘Neither. I felt like it was desperate for your help.’

  23. The Wedding of Doom

  Jared had jokingly called his parents’ wedding ‘the wedding of doom.’ As the day turned into evening, I was beginning to think he was right. There was still no power in the Vander Inn, or anywhere else in town. A wizard employee of the electricity company had noted that t
he problem with the power might well be of supernatural origin, and my dad had been called in to help.

  Hours after he set off to investigate the problem, though, the Fisherman’s Friend was still the only place in town with power – which was why the wedding had now been relocated there.

  This being a vampire wedding, of course, the tavern had been closed to the public. Nollaig and Ron had taken the catering and bar staff over from the Vander Inn, so my mother was enjoying the break, reading a book in her room with her feet up. The Montagues had hired Malachy to cook for their wedding, and he was in the kitchen with his staff now, cooking up a storm.

  A real storm, meanwhile, was raging outside the doors of the Fisherman’s Friend. I worried for my father, out in that weather, trying to repair the power problems. I worried just as much for Jared, which was why I was trying to call him for the umpteenth time that day.

  As his phone went once more to voicemail, Nollaig let out a little howl of frustration. We were in one of the Vander Inn’s bedrooms, getting ready for the occasion.

  Nollaig started to pull at the train of her dress. ‘It doesn’t look stupid, does it?’

  I set my phone aside and shook my head emphatically. Grace and Pru gathered around her too, assuring her that she looked amazing.

  ‘Red is your colour, Nollaig,’ Grace stated. ‘It sets off your black hair.’

  Nollaig heaved out a sigh. ‘Maybe. But it’s so … traditional. I don’t even believe in this kind of ceremony. It’s all a bit too old school for me. Verging on archaic, really. Maybe I should call the whole thing off.’

  Pru’s eyes widened. ‘Well, if you’re feeling unsure, then maybe …’ She let her voice trail off as her mother stomped across the room, trying – and failing, due to the size of her skirt – to sit in one of the chintzy armchairs by the window.

  The room we were in would be my room if I ever took my parents up on their offer to move in and, I had to say, it was lovely. Through one window I could see the ocean, crashing towards the shore, and through another, smaller window above the bed, I could see Dylan’s lighthouse further up the coast.

  There was even a teddy bear on the bed, something I’d only had for a very short time as a child, just before my favourite foster mother disappeared. I’d not been given time to search for it when I had to leave her house, and I couldn’t help but wonder where that teddy was now.

  ‘Of course I’m unsure,’ Nollaig said, replying to Pru. ‘How can I be sure of anything after what Jared saw on the beach last night?’

  Grace, Pru and I shared a look of awkward embarrassment. I could tell that every single one of us wanted to say, ‘Yes! Ron is awful, don’t marry him again!’

  ‘But then Ron can’t help it if he’s so attractive, can he?’ Nollaig continued, talking more to herself than us. ‘She probably threw herself at him, that teacher. Comes across as all sweet and shy, but they’re the ones you have to watch, aren’t they? And if he wanted her he’d be with her, not here marrying me again. And I suppose … I suppose this sort of ceremony is nice enough, in its way. It shows a real commitment, don’t you think?’

  As she looked at me, I opened and closed my mouth pathetically. ‘I … I don’t really know much about the ceremony.’

  ‘Of course,’ Nollaig said. ‘You have rehearsals in the human world, don’t you? Probably not a bad idea. I could have done with some practice walking in these shoes.’ Once again, she tried and failed to flop down into the chair.

  ‘And of course, how can we go ahead now? Jared was supposed to hand the vials to us, and to give us the ceremonial prickers.’

  A ceremonial pricker? Oh dear. This traditional ceremony was sounding more and more like something that might make me weak at the knees.

  ‘They each prick one another with the pricker and put a drop of blood into a vial for each other,’ Grace explained in a whisper.

  ‘Of course they do,’ I replied quietly. ‘Sure what else would you do with a pricker?’

  ‘Well then, maybe wait until Jared is back so he can be the pricker-bearer, as planned,’ Pru said gently to her mother. ‘He should be here, shouldn’t he? It won’t be the same without him.’

  Nollaig hung her head, a tear falling down her face. ‘No. It won’t be,’ she agreed, peeling her dress off and dropping it to the floor, grabbing a robe instead.

  ‘So … you’re going to postpone?’ asked Grace. Even an ice queen like my boss couldn’t hide the hint of hope in her eyes.

  Nollaig pulled the robe tight and stepped into some slippers. ‘Well … I don’t know. What do you think I should do?’ Before any of us could reply, she began to mutter to herself. ‘But … so many people have come. There are two hundred at least downstairs. They’ve travelled for miles, some of them. And they’ve all bought us presents and …’

  My hand went to my temples, as she once again started to talk herself into getting married. If I ever walked down the aisle, I sincerely hoped I wasn’t so conflicted about the event.

  ‘Maybe Malachy!’ Nollaig cried suddenly. ‘He’s a good friend. He could hand us the vials and the pricker.’

  Before any of us could stop her, she vaporized and left the room. Pru shook her head in misery. ‘I can’t, guys. I just can’t go after her. I just want to scream at her, tell her not to marry him again. Malachy doesn’t want to be the pricker-bearer! He hates my dad because he once went out with Malachy’s cousin and treated her like crap. And every other man in Riddler’s Cove and Riddler’s Edge hates him too. I can’t say I blame them, seeing as he’s mistreated half of their wives, girlfriends and daughters. I should go after her, try to change her mind but … I just don’t have the energy. Jared was right. We should have stayed in London. This wedding is doomed.’

  As Grace awkwardly patted Pru’s back and stiltedly said, ‘There, there,’ I took a deep breath and said, ‘I’ll go see what she’s up to.’

  ≈

  When I arrived in the kitchen, Malachy had his hands on his hips and was shaking his head at Nollaig. ‘I love you, honey,’ he told her. ‘You know I’d do anything for you – except this. Anyway, how can I cook and hold the pricker, hmm?’

  Seeing that she was about to say something more, he held up a hand. ‘And no – before you ask, my boyfriend will not step in. We’ve both had too many female friends and relatives messed around by Ron. Speaking of …’ He stepped closer to her and took her hands in his. ‘Are you sure you want to go through with this again, sweetness? You could snap your fingers and have every eligible vampire in Ireland come running, you do know that, don’t you? You’re so much better than Ron.’

  Nollaig looked down at her slippers. ‘But I love him. I know you think I’m stupid for it, but I do. There has to be someone who’ll hold the vials and the pricker.’

  Malachy bit his bottom lip, looking helpless. ‘Well I … oh, what about him?’ He pointed out into the tavern. Greg was sitting slumped in a chair near the kitchen, playing a game on his phone. ‘He might not like Ron, but we all know he’d do anything for Pru and, by extension, for her mother.’

  As Nollaig pounced on Greg, I shook my head at Malachy. ‘You know just as well as I do that this is the last thing Pru would want Greg to do,’ I whispered.

  Malachy shrugged his shoulders. ‘Exactly. Maybe she’ll tell him off and he’ll finally stop mooning over her. One of my waitresses thinks he’s very cute, but at the moment he only has eyes for the immortal Miss Montague. It’s about time he got over her and got on with life, don’t you think?’

  ≈

  Pru, Grace and I stood with Nollaig, peeping through the curtain at the gathered guests. The curtain had been drawn across the small hallway where the stairs were, giving Nollaig a chance to make a grand entrance.

  In a vampire ceremony, no one gave anyone away. Chairs had been set up on the Fisherman’s Friend’s (tiny) dancefloor, and a vampire priest stood at the top, with Ron and Greg to his right. Greg was wearing the suit meant for Jared, and he looked more than just a li
ttle bit dishy. He was taller than Jared, but Luna had been on hand to make some last-minute alterations, and the suit looked like it was made for him.

  Pru was staring his way, and I noted the change in her expression. It was quite a dramatic change, too. At first, the immortal Miss Montague blinked her eyes and swallowed, clutching her flowers tightly. But after a moment or two of that, her expression began to look almost frightened. It made me incredibly curious, I can tell you, but I could hardly interrupt the wedding of doom to ask for an explanation.

  If the frightened expression had come upon Pru when she spotted the priest, that I could understand. He was from the Church of the Longest Night, one of the oldest vampire religions. Pru had explained a little about it to me over the last few days. Their major day of celebration was the Dark Night, or Winter Solstice to you and me. They also had close ties with Roger Balfe’s boys’ club, the Knights of Darkness, and were involved in a lot of the initiation ceremonies. None of that sat well with me. If Ron had really left all of his Knights of Darkness days behind him, then why was he still so embroiled in a closely-tied religion?

  In many ways, the priest was much like Roger Balfe – he wore a cloak, had incredibly pale skin and so on. But he looked like he belonged in his creepy cloak. And his skin was most certainly not powdered. His head was completely bald, and his fingers were incredibly long, thin and creepy.

  ‘Count Orlok!’ I muttered in triumph.

  Grace frowned and whispered, ‘What?’

  ‘The priest,’ I whispered back. ‘He looks like Count Orlok, from that Nosferatu film – which is funny, because Roger Balfe wants to be called the Heir of Orlok. Maybe he should shave off all of that dyed black hair.’

  Grace shivered. ‘It couldn’t make him look any worse. Is it just me, or is the temperature beginning to drop in here?’