The Case of the Wayward Witch Read online

  ‘I would never have killed Diane,’ I insisted. ‘I bought that knife when I decided to move here. You hear bad stories about this place. I figured it was a good idea to have a weapon to protect myself. When I heard a noise in the kitchen and I knew it couldn’t be you guys, I got scared, so I grabbed my knife.’

  Jonathan scowled. ‘It’s time to stop pretending, Katy. You were searching this place. You’re a Wayfarer spy. Just admit it.’

  ‘I can’t admit it because it’s not true. I swear on … on … well, I don’t know what. But I swear. Look, I was a bit worried when I heard you guys might be hiding Diane. When I spoke to the Wayfarers after Donal was killed, they were pretty sure she was behind it. And as much as I like you guys …’ I looked beseechingly at Ned and Hamish. ‘ … well, I had to be sure. Look, I got frightened when I saw Diane. Anyone would. But I am here to try and be a detective.’

  Ned picked Cleo up and whispered with the cat. A moment later, she placed Cleo back down and said, ‘You know, we think she might actually be telling the truth.’

  ‘We do,’ agreed Cleo. ‘Tell them what happened last night, Ned. It’s not that embarrassing.’

  Ned’s face turned a deep shade of red. ‘It is that embarrassing, but I’ll tell it anyway. I sneaked out for a few minutes last night. I went and had a look at where Guillermo is living now. I just … I couldn’t help myself. When I got there, he was with yet another woman. I could see them through his front window, guzzling wine and smooching the face off each other.’

  ‘What’s your point?’ asked Hamish.

  Cleo glared at the dog. ‘The point, wizard, is that if Katy were a Wayfarer, Guillermo would have been arrested by now. She would have used him as bait to make Ned trust her, and then sent him off to Witchfield as soon as the job was done. But he’s still there. And also …’ The cat looked me up and down. ‘I just don’t buy her as a spy. She has no power, and no cop on, either, seeing as she thought she could get away with searching Ned’s flat without us knowing.’

  ‘There are unempowered Wayfarers,’ Diane pointed out. ‘They even hire weredogs now. And Todge is a Wayfarer. If that jam-munching idiot can be one, then I imagine they’d even take on someone as dumb as Katy.’

  ‘Hey!’ I frowned at her. ‘I’m not dumb. I’m ignorant, sure. I don’t know much about the supernatural world. But I’m not dumb.’

  ‘She’s not,’ Ned agreed. ‘She’s … well, she’s kind of all right. And my gut tells me that I ought to trust her. Look, wouldn’t it be better if we had Katy on our side? She found Guillermo, which means she’s a brilliant detective. She might be able to help us find the real killer.’

  Hamish stared long and hard at me and then said, ‘You know what? Despite everything, I agree with Ned. And let’s face it, we haven’t done a very good job of finding the real killer by ourselves, have we?’

  They all clustered around, mumbling together. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but their tone gave me hope. And the funny thing was, now that I’d met Diane face to face, I was sure she wasn’t the killer. I knew she’d broken my uncle’s legs, but haven’t we all wanted to do that at one time or another?

  They finished their powwow, and Jonathan approached. ‘We’re going to give you a chance, but only because we’re desperate to prove Diane’s innocence and find the real killer. There’s a way for you to prove to us whether or not you’re telling the truth. An illegal truth potion. I know the Wayfarers hate those, but I happen to think they have their time and place, as long as the questions are direct and clear. Are you willing to drink it, at risk to your health, and in the full knowledge that we will murder you if you’re lying?’

  While I gawped at him in shock, Ned shook her head emphatically and said, ‘No one’s getting murdered, Katy. That’s not the way we do things around here. Jonathan was just joking, weren’t you?’

  He gave me an unconvincing smile. ‘Sure. I was totally pulling your leg, Katy. Go get the potion, Ned.’

  ≈

  A few minutes later, after a few words from Hamish, the shimmer in the air had cleared. An Insitu spell, he explained, was a sort of boundary spell. It meant that even if I somehow miraculously escaped from the cuffs I was wearing, I still wouldn’t be able to move more than a couple of feet from the armchair. But seeing as they couldn’t get the truth potion to me with the spell in place, it had needed to be removed.

  Ned approached with an open vial, filled with a foul-smelling green concoction. As she drew closer, I was able to read the label on the vial.

  ‘It says Demon Detector, Nedina!’

  ‘Don’t call me Nedina. You know I hate my name.’ She smiled a little, bending down before me. ‘Look, this is a truth potion. It’s my own blend, designed to make the dead tell the truth, so I know it’s really them and not a demon in their place. It’ll burn a little, but it won’t do any damage to you. I swear.’

  I gave her a half-smile. ‘Well, I’ll need you to toss it down my neck. What with these scary manacles I’m wearing.’

  She laughed awkwardly and took a gentle hold of my face, carefully tipping the potion down my throat. As soon as she heard me swallow, she stood back. Just as she’d warned, it burned slightly. It also made me feel rather drunk.

  With his hands behind his back, Jonathan approached.

  ‘State your name,’ he demanded.

  ‘Katy Kramer.’

  ‘Are you a licensed private investigator?’

  ‘No. I never said I was. And Hamish told me I didn’t need a licence, anyway.’

  ‘Well she doesn’t,’ Hamish confirmed.

  Jonathan glared at the dog. ‘You’re still on her side, aren’t you? After everything we saw her do today.’

  He looked down at his paws. ‘Yeah, I like Katy. I’ll admit it. And even if she does turn out to be a Wayfarer, I’ll still like her. I mean, when you think about it, she’d only be doing her job.’

  ‘I’m not a Wayfarer!’ I cried.

  Ned jumped up and down, cuddling Cleo once more. ‘See? She wouldn’t have been able to say that if she were a Wayfarer, would she? Which means she’s telling the truth.’

  Diane smiled excitedly. ‘This is brilliant. Because if Katy is the super-amazing detective you think she is, Ned, then she can help clear my name.’ A tear slid down her cheek. ‘And she’ll stop whoever’s killing my poor boyfriends, too. None of them deserved to die.’

  I looked down at my hands. I definitely wanted to help find the real killer. I just hoped I’d be up to the job.

  ‘Girls, I think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourselves,’ said Jonathan. He turned back to me with a steely stare. ‘Are you a qualified detective or police officer of any kind?’

  ‘No. I’m not qualified to do anything, actually,’ I admitted. ‘I’ve always been a bit of a loser. But coming here … this has been the first time when I felt like I had a purpose.’

  Like everything I said under the influence of Ned’s Demon Detector, it was true. I did feel like I had a purpose now. Even more than when Uncle Faster first told me I was a witch hunter. I believed what Jude wrote – that, just as with humans, there were good witches and bad. I had no doubt that Ned and Hamish would continue to hide Diane, no matter what. They simply didn’t trust the Wayfarers here on Samhain Street. But if they trusted me, then maybe I could be of some help.

  ‘Hmph!’ said Jonathan. ‘I’m just not buying it, Katy. You’re hiding something. I feel it in my belly.’ He scratched his chin. ‘Maybe I’m just not asking the right questions. Katy Kramer, are you working in any capacity for the Wayfarers?’

  I vehemently shook my head. ‘No. I hadn’t even heard of them until the other day, and I’m definitely not working for them.’

  Hamish’s face relaxed, and he ran towards me and hopped up on my lap. ‘I knew it, Katy,’ he said. ‘I mean, first I was suspicious, and then I trusted you, and then I was suspicious again but … deep down I always knew. You’re one of the good ones.’ His mouth opened into a proper
doggie smile. ‘You know what this means, right? You can take me to that fancy restaurant now.’

  19. It Runs in the Genes

  It was going to be a few days before I spent a whole lot of Aunt Jude’s money on some chateaubriand. In the meantime, there was a real murderer out there. And, with my hands finally free of the shackles, I was determined to find them.

  ‘So I’m going to need a few more details,’ I said, looking around at them all. We were gathered at Ned’s kitchen table, and she’d made a large pot of coffee and laid out some biscuits and cakes. ‘What exactly do you guys think is happening here? Do you think someone’s trying to set Diane up? Set all of you up?’

  ‘It’s definitely targeted at Diane,’ said Hamish. ‘Everyone affected has been out with her, whether long or short-term. And before you ask why she keeps going out with guys even though they’ll probably wind up dead, don’t bother. She can’t help herself. It runs in the genes.’

  ‘The genes?’

  Diane looked down at her undrunk coffee. ‘I’m not only a witch. There were some sirens and succubi quite far back on my mother’s side of the family. A real double whammy. For whatever reason, even though generations have passed, those powers reared their head with my mam. I mean, she didn’t actually sing sailors towards their doom, but men were drawn to her in their droves. And she lived for the attention, which is why she’s now in rehab for her addictions, while my dad has gone and joined the Warlock Society. We thought she was an anomaly, but the exact same thing has happened with me. Guys are drawn to the siren part of me, and the succubus part of me loves the attention. Even when they started getting knocked off, I couldn’t help myself.’

  ‘Huh.’ I sat back. If we were actually to take after our relatives, then I’d be a sexist witch hunter, a fame-hungry womaniser, and a very bad actress. I didn’t want to be any of those things. But if I took after Aunt Jude? That didn’t seem like it would be so bad. ‘Well, what have you guys done to narrow down the suspects? Could one of Diane’s exes have taken a grudge against her? I mean, are any of them even still alive?’

  Hamish held up a paw. ‘I am. But we never really got together together. We just …’ He cleared his throat and looked at the floor.

  ‘We would have gotten together together,’ Diane said. ‘Or at least I wanted to. We’d fooled around a few times, but I was afraid of hurting Hamish. I decided that if I wanted to make a relationship work, then I needed to go to rehab with my mother, to see if I could get over my craving for male attention. So one night I called Hamish to tell him I was going away, and to ask him if he’d like to go out on a proper date when I got back, and the next morning … well, he was a dog.’

  I scratched my chin. ‘So you think you were a target, Hamish? Why turn you into a dog though? Why not just kill you like the others?’

  Cleo rubbed herself against his coat. ‘Let’s not tempt fate. He might be a hairy, annoying mutt, but he’s our hairy, annoying mutt.’

  He stuck his tongue out and gave her a big slobbery lick. She shuddered and hopped up onto the sofa, furiously grooming the spot he’d licked.

  ‘We have tried to narrow it down to disgruntled exes,’ Ned said, sliding a plate of chocolate biscuits my way. ‘But every time we think we’ve figured out who it might be, they wind up dead. I’m not sure there’s anyone left, to be honest.’

  Jonathan loudly slurped the remainder of his coffee, and then went to refill his cup. ‘We do have one other suspect, actually. We told the Wayfarers about him, but they wouldn’t take us seriously. They never take us seriously – which is why we’re better trying to figure this out alone.’

  ‘So who is it?’ I asked.

  Diane pushed her crumbs around the table. ‘We think there’s a chance it might be a warlock. Cullen Keats. He used to ask me out a lot. It was after the first couple of murders, but before the Wayfarers started to suspect I might be behind it. I lived in your room, Katy. Cullen would come round and ask me out at least twice a week. I really liked his scar, but I turned him down because he works for my dad.’

  ‘But I thought he was into you,’ I said to Nedina. ‘He seemed pretty flirtatious.’

  ‘Yeah, well Jonathan suspects he’s putting on an act,’ she replied, shaking out her blonde hair.

  ‘Not that Ned isn’t a beautiful woman,’ said Jonathan, returning to the table with his coffee. ‘But we’ve been pretty ingenious at hiding Diane, using a combination of spells. Stuff even the Wayfarers can’t crack. She stayed in her old room, right up until you moved in, Katy.’

  ‘Then she moved up to the attic, right?’

  ‘Exactly,’ he confirmed. ‘I told Ned to be pretty obvious about that. It was part of our Katy-trap. Let you know Diane was still here so you’d go searching for her the first chance you got. But anyway – back to the subject of Cullen. As soon as Diane went into hiding, he suddenly switched his interest to Ned – to all of us, really. I think he’s trying to smarm his way into our group. Get close to us so he can … I don’t know … kidnap poor Diane and keep her all to himself or something.’

  Diane shuddered. ‘I mean, he’s kind of gorgeous, but I don’t think I want him to kidnap me. Unless that’s what he’d like to do.’ She gritted her teeth. ‘There I go again. Living my life according to what men want from me. But he is incredibly attractive, isn’t he Katy?’

  For some reason, her question made me feel rather warm. Luckily, Jonathan was monopolising the conversation once more, so I didn’t need to answer.

  ‘You know, you don’t have to say something nice about every single man you meet, Diane.’ He shook his head in exasperation. ‘That’s what got you into this mess in the first place. You lead them on, they get the wrong idea, you move onto the next guy and let the previous one down “gently” and then … hey presto … you’re a suspect in multiple murders.’

  ‘Whoa!’ I held my hands up. ‘No victim blaming here, Jonathan. If Diane lets guys down gently, it’s not her fault they don’t get the message. And it’s definitely not her fault if some guy goes on a killing spree just because he can’t handle rejection.’

  ‘You’re right.’ Jonathan looked suitably abashed. ‘It’s not Diane’s fault she attracts a certain sort of man. But all of that aside … I really do think Cullen’s our guy.’ He turned to me. ‘So what do you think, Katy? You tracked down Guillermo Moriarty, a Púca who even the Wayfarers couldn’t find. So getting your hands on the proof we need to get Cullen arrested shouldn’t be a problem for you.’

  I forced myself to smile and nod. Yes, I wanted to help them find the murderer. But they were all looking at me as though they really believed I could. I just hoped I could live up to their expectations.

  20. The Angelic Sister

  We spent the rest of the night chatting about Cullen. On Samhain Street, a shady past was nothing to be ashamed of, so Cullen’s past was common knowledge. They’d already told me that he was a broom thief and a love-potion dealer, but I soon realised that his crimes were far from petty. He hadn’t just nicked one or two brooms. He’d been involved in heists where shipments of the most expensive brooms in the world were stolen. And as for the love potions? Apparently such mixtures were highly illegal.

  It was decided that Hamish and I would tail him the next day, while Jonathan, Cleo and Ned tried to find out more about his recent movements. At the end of a long and tiring night, Diane headed off to stay at Jonathan’s, leaving Hamish in the attic alone. Both seemed embarrassed about Diane’s romantic revelations. I just hoped that she would be safe with Jonathan. Now that I’d gotten to know her some more, I was surer than ever that she couldn’t be a boyfriend-killer.

  I slept fitfully, and woke up early the next morning to the sound of angelic music. Making my way to the bedroom window, I found myself looking down onto Strange Lane. It looked just as bright and beautiful as when I’d last seen it. Nedina’s sister Angelica was watering the flowers outside her café, singing while she worked.

  ‘Well hello there, Katy!’
She paused mid-song and beamed up at me.

  I pulled the window open, and she moved across the street. ‘Don’t worry. My terrible singing isn’t waking up the other residents. Everyone’s up at the crack of dawn on Strange Lane. Hey, I’ve got a pot of coffee on the go. Care to join me?’

  The window next to mine was wrenched open suddenly, and Ned stuck her head out, glaring down at her sister. ‘Well, here in the normal part of the Samhain Street enclave we are not awake at the crack of dawn. And Katy is not joining you for coffee. The goddess knows what you put into that stuff to make you so … so …’

  ‘So happy?’ Angelica smiled sweetly. ‘And as for not being awake at the crack of dawn, you certainly look awake to me. A little grumpy, it’s true. But awake nonetheless.’

  ‘Have you found it yet?’ Nedina barked.

  Angelica held her nose in the air. ‘I have no idea to what you’re referring.’

  ‘Yes you do! I was too upset to remind you about it – again – yesterday. But you know exactly what it is I want from you. Our mother’s Decree of the Deceased. So that I can legally bring her back from the dead!’

  Angelica turned her attention to a pot teeming with daisies. ‘If I find it then I’ll be sure to send it your way. Although I think you already know my feelings on the matter.’

  Nedina scowled, and slammed her bedroom window so hard that the glass broke. A second later, I heard her mumble an angry spell, and the glass was magically repaired. I let out a wistful sigh. Magic looked like a whole lot of fun – and useful, too.

  ‘Well um … it was nice to meet you again Angelica,’ I said with a pathetic wave. ‘I’m going to go back inside so … bye for now.’

  ‘I really do have amazing coffee over here,’ she called up to me. ‘And blueberry pancakes are this morning’s special. Oh, and I’m inviting you as a friend, of course. No charge for the newest resident of Samhain Street.’