The Case of the Haunted House Read online

  A

  Katy Kramer

  Cozy Mystery

  ≈

  No. 2:

  The Case of the

  Haunted House

  by A.A. Albright

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organisations, places, events and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously.

  Copyright © A.A. Albright 2019

  All Rights Reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.

  Newsletter: http://www.subscribepage.com/z4n0f4

  Website: https://aaalbright.com

  Table of Contents

  1. A Truly Horrible Job

  2. A Very Befuddling Fountain

  3. A Ghost of a Chance

  4. The House on Hunting Hill

  5. Jam on the Brain

  6. All the Best Relationships are Highly Dysfunctional

  7. Aim Low

  8. The Other Door

  9. Sexy Vampires and Lager Louts

  10. App-cidentally in Love

  11. Whiz Bang Blast

  12. Skeleton Skies

  13. A Thief, a Liar, and a Murderer

  14. Normal is Overrated

  15. Learning the Ropes

  16. A Very Sensible Wizard

  17. A Strange and Strong Brew

  18. Even Monsters Can Be Charming Sometimes

  19. The Ghost of Jim McGinty

  20. The Distraction Spell

  21. Hunters Do Lots of Things

  22. The Secret Space

  23. Kissy Wissing

  24. The Real Monsters

  25. The Hunting Party

  26. Deluded Debbie

  27. A Leap … and Some Faith

  28. The Stubborn Bunch

  29. The Familiar Scent of Turnips and Werewolves

  30. The Very Strange Society

  31. Shield

  1. A Truly Horrible Job

  It was the beginning of another eventful day on Samhain Street – and I knew that because every day was eventful on Samhain Street. I’d been living here for weeks now, and my PI agency had a steady stream of customers, each case stranger than the one before.

  In preparation for the day, I was sitting in my usual morning spot – an upturned crate just outside the back entrance to my office. The entrance was called the Scary Door by my flatmate, Ned, because it led out onto Strange Lane, her least favourite area in the enclave.

  Ned’s sister (who Ned hated with a passion) was a resident of Strange Lane. But other than the fact that her sister lived here, I couldn’t see what Ned’s problem was with the street. It was the cleanest and least rowdy place in the whole of the enclave. They had a trickling fountain, a nice little green area, and a plethora of residents who didn’t break the law five times before breakfast.

  Normally, I loved my view of Strange Lane. It was the perfect place to enjoy my morning meal. Although … calling it a meal might have been a slight exaggeration, seeing as it entailed a cup of strong, sugary tea and a chocolate bar.

  But this morning, I wasn’t enjoying my time in the fresh, clean air. Something was making me feel a little bit more jittery than usual, and it wasn’t the fact that there were four sugars in my tea. The extra sugar was there because I was feeling out of sorts (desperate times call for desperate measures and all that).

  I also knew that, much as I’d like to, I couldn’t blame my unusual mood on Cullen Keats, my least favourite barman, cook, and undercover Wayfarer. Sure, he was sitting just across the road, at an outdoor table at Angel Cakes café. But I’d been feeling nervous long before he began to sip irritatingly at a cappuccino.

  Don’t ask me to explain precisely how his cappuccino-drinking was irritating. I mean, he wasn’t even slurping, so I couldn’t blame it on that. Somehow, though, he managed to look both smug and sexy, and the combination was immensely annoying. Even the scar on his face was looking alluring today.

  I wanted to go across there and tell him to leave, before I started to imagine the heroic and sexy ways in which he might have received that scar. Just as I was pushing such thoughts firmly from my mind, he sent a smirk my way.

  ‘Morning, Katy Cakes,’ he said. ‘Want to join me?’

  I met his smirk with a glower. ‘No. I do not want to join you. I’m perfectly happy on my wooden crate sipping my homemade tea, thank you very much.’

  ‘Really?’ He quirked a brow. ‘Because you don’t look happy. You look kind of irritable. Maybe it’s because that crate was used to transport jars filled with zombie ash. I hear that stuff can make you itchy.’

  Darn him, anyway. Now that I looked, I could see that this crate had, in fact, contained supplies for Ned’s necromancy supply store. But, much as I wanted to, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

  ‘Yeah?’ I stared him in the eye. ‘Well you look a whole lot more irritating than a crate full of zombie ash, so I think I’m good here.’

  He sipped the last of his cappuccino, closed his newspaper and stood up. We were experiencing a late-summer heatwave, and he was dressed in chinos and a casual, short-sleeved shirt. His skin was tanned, making his blue eyes seem brighter than usual. He looked as though he’d just been on a holiday. Maybe somewhere with a beach, where I could towel his dark brown hair dry and …

  Fluff! What was wrong with me? I’d never liked bad boys, and Cullen was certainly that. I could see a motorcycle close by, and I knew by now that it was his. At least when he put his helmet back on it might cover up his gorgeous face.

  ‘Will I see you in the Bank at lunchtime?’ he asked as he was walking past. ‘I do love to watch you eat. No matter what you say, I know you really enjoy my cooking.’

  I gave him another glower. ‘I do, as it happens. I like it so much that I think you should stick to cooking. It’s obviously your true vocation.’

  He let out an airy sigh. ‘But you and I know that’s not true, don’t we Katy Cakes? You and I know what both of us have as our true vocation.’ He leaned closer, pulled up a section of my hair, and whispered in my ear. ‘Don’t hold out on me. Next interesting case that comes your way, you and I will be working together.’

  Now, I suppose, is the time where I ought to explain myself. Just like the aforementioned Cullen Keats, I too was an undercover Wayfarer. But don’t judge me too harshly. If you hail from Samhain Street, you probably hate the Wayfarers’ guts as much as everyone else in this enclave. I had my reasons for working for them, though – just like I had my reasons for keeping it a secret from almost everyone I knew.

  ‘If you don’t learn to keep your mouth shut in public,’ I told Cullen, ‘then neither of us will be working in this enclave much longer, together or apart. Oh, and stop calling me Katy Cakes. It’s not cute. It’s annoying. What does it even mean? If I was a baker it might be funny. If I even ate a lot of cake, maybe. But seeing as neither of those things are true, it’s just dumb. Like you.’

  ‘Oh, Katy.’ He shook his head. ‘Insults like that make it seem like I’m really getting under your skin. Now, why would that be, I wonder?’ He bent down over me and whispered, ‘If you want to arrange a private meeting to discuss all of this tension between us, just say the word.’ As he straightened up again, he sniggered. ‘Oh, don’t worry. I fancy you just as much as you fancy me. Which is clearly not a lot.’

  To my discredit, I did not tell him to go and jump in a lake filled with disease-ridden monsters. Instead, I watched him saunter away, put on his helmet and throw a leg over his bike. As the engine roared
to life, the motorbike soared upwards, flying high above Strange Lane and heading over my building. I craned my neck, watching him … and watching him …

  I’d like to say it was because I was enjoying the fact that he was leaving, but I think you know that’s not true. Once again, fantasies of lying next to him on a beach and towelling his hair entered my mind.

  Aargh! What was with me? He was not my type of guy. I didn’t like to be teased, or irritated, or talked down to by guys. Behaviour like that did not float my boat. I mean, he’d soaked me with a watering can during our first meeting, for fluff’s sake!

  As for his flying bike? Shudder. The one and only time I’d been on an airplane, I’d spent most of the three-hour flight retching in the bathroom. I’d gotten the ferry back.

  But there was something about the sight of him flying in the air – something that made me think that I might just be irritated enough by his presence to make it all the way to our destination without throwing up even once.

  And when we got there and started to argue all over again, we could always have a nice dip in the sea together to cool off. And then …

  Just as I thought steam might come out my ears, a lovely sound arrived to soothe my senses. It was Angelica, the café’s owner, singing as she cleared Cullen’s table. I sank further down onto my splintered crate, sighing in happiness as I listened to her voice.

  ‘No matter what, my dearest

  This witch will always love you

  Whether you’re far or nearest

  This witch will always love you

  With or without power

  This witch will always love you

  Lathered up in the shower …’

  ‘Let me guess,’ I said. ‘This witch will always love you?’

  Angelica let out a tinkle of laughter. This morning she was wearing a lovely yellow sundress. Her blonde hair was, as usual, scraped into the neatest ponytail possible. ‘You’re right. That is the gist of the song. It’s from the musical version of Skeleton Skies. Have you seen it?’

  ‘If it’s not showing in the human world, then no. I haven’t had much time for entertainment since I moved here.’

  Her eyes lit up. ‘Well then, today is your lucky day, because I just happen to have some spare tickets for tonight’s performance. Maybe …’ A small, hopeful smile formed. ‘Maybe you and my sister could come along. A girls’ night out sort of thing. What do you say?’

  ‘Oh, I …’ I searched my brain for suitable excuses. ‘It’s em … I have this … well …’

  Angelica gave me a sad smile. ‘It’s okay, Katy. You don’t need to make excuses. For one thing, it was pretty stupid of me to even hope my sister would want to come anywhere near me, let alone on a night out. And as for you, well … I imagine Ned has called dibs on you.’

  Oh dear. She was making me feel ever so bad about this. ‘Actually, I do have an excuse,’ I said quickly. ‘I mean … a reason. I’ve been promising Hamish a night at the Starlight Restaurant for weeks now, and I was finally going to take him tonight.’

  As if on cue, the dog appeared beside me. Well, I say dog. In truth, he was a wizard, turned into a dog by a maniacal murderer who had destroyed the only means to turn Hamish back to his human form. But if he were a real dog, then he’d be the cutest dog in existence. He was medium-sized, with shaggy dark grey fur that was very nearly black. He had huge brown eyes and a wagging tail, and he always wore a wizard hat atop his head. Oh, and he spoke with a Scottish accent, too. Basically, it was a constant struggle to stop myself from rubbing his belly or tickling him behind his ears.

  ‘It’s true,’ Hamish confirmed. ‘And I’m not letting her off this time. I already know what I’m having. Some of their game terrine to start, followed by the chateaubriand, and some chocolate soufflé for dessert. Oh, and a bowl of Château Toff de Toff to wash it all down. Katy will have her wine in a glass, I imagine. Although having slurped from both at one time or another, I have to say that a bowl is far superior. You can fit so much more in.’

  Angelica gave him a sweet smile. ‘Oh, well, you’d better not let the handsome Hamish down. I can tell you’ve been a little bit down since Diane went away,’ she told him.

  She was right about that. Diane was the love of Hamish’s life. They’d never been a couple, and now that he was a dog, the odds weren’t good. But she clearly felt the same way about him as he did about her. Currently she was in rehab, learning to deal better with her siren and succubus sides. I’d seen him moon over her photos each and every night, from the moment she left.

  ‘I definitely don’t want to take you away from your nice meal together,’ Angelica continued. You’re lucky to have a friend like Katy.’

  Hamish grinned up at me. ‘Ah, she’s not so bad.’

  Angelica giggled. ‘I’d say she’s wonderful, personally. Well listen, why don’t the two of you at least take me up on my open offer of a free breakfast this morning? I’ve got some blueberry pancakes ready to go. I’ve seen all of the clients going in and out since you two opened up shop. You need your strength to cope with another day of being a private eye around here. And a chocolate bar and a cup of tea isn’t going to cut it, Katy.’

  I was about to argue that the extra sugar I’d added to my tea could keep me energetic (or at least hyperactive) for quite some time to come. But somewhere beyond the sugar-addled confusion, my sensible brain was shouting at me, and it was saying that Angelica was right.

  Woman could not live on sugar alone. And maybe, just maybe, if I had something other than sugar, I could strike all thoughts of a wet-headed Cullen from my mind.

  My stomach rumbled as I smelled the wonderful aromas from her café. I could see one customer digging into an omelette, and another enjoying some fresh-baked pain au chocolat and a bowl of fruit salad. When had I last even seen a piece of fruit, let alone eaten one? I’d been avoiding the nearest eatery, because Cullen worked there. And I had been receiving far more clients than I’d imagined, which left me very little time to cook.

  ‘It all looks great,’ I admitted. ‘But …’

  There was a loud, ‘Ahem,’ behind me. I turned to see my flatmate, Ned, scowling in my direction. ‘We em … we’d better go, Angelica. Nice to see you again.’

  As Hamish and I headed inside, I could see that he looked as guilty as I felt. His tail was, quite literally, between his legs. ‘We weren’t going to say yes,’ he told her.

  ‘No.’ I shook my head emphatically. ‘Definitely not. I mean … I don’t even like blueberry pancakes. And as for the musical … all that singing and dancing is just annoying.’

  One of these days, lightning was going to strike me down as punishment for all of my lies. Up until this point, I’d been far more deceitful than I would have liked to be with my new friends. But lying about pancakes and musicals? That was a new low, even for me. I loved musicals. And the thought of blueberry pancakes was making me wipe away some drool even now.

  ‘Oh.’ Ned began to play with one of her earrings. It was shaped like a strawberry, if I wasn’t mistaken. ‘That’s a shame. I think you’d both really enjoy Skeleton Skies. I hear the musical version is even better than the original play.’

  Hamish and I gawked at her.

  ‘Woman, have you gone and sniffed some zombie ash or something?’ said the dog.

  Ned bit her lip, looked out the door and then closed it. ‘Guys, I need to hire your services as private investigators,’ she whispered. ‘I’ll pay you and everything. Name your price.’

  ‘You need to tell us what the job is, first,’ I said, feeling that troubled tingle grow ever the stronger.

  ‘Well, it’s horrible. Possibly the most foul, most frightening job you’ll ever be asked to do.’

  ‘What is it Ned?’ asked Hamish impatiently.

  Ned took in a deep breath and then said, ‘I want the two of you to go across the road, and I want you to have some blueberry pancakes.’

  My eyes widened and I struggled to quell the rumbling in my bell
y. I could smell them now, sizzling away on the pan. ‘I’m confused, Ned. You hate Angelica. I’ve stayed away from her café ever since I moved in here because I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever fight it is you two are having.’

  ‘Yes, well … Angelica is worthy of hatred, believe me. But she also happens to be in possession of a document I really, really need.’

  My stomach sank. I knew all about that document. It was what Nedina needed if she were ever going to attempt to bring her mother back from the dead. ‘You’re talking about the Decree of the Deceased, aren’t you?’

  Ned sank into one of our waiting-room chairs. ‘How did you guess?’

  ‘Because,’ said Hamish. ‘You and Angelica have argued about it every single day this week. And oddly enough, when the two of you shout at each other across the street, other people can actually hear you. So let me get this straight. You want Katy and me to go over for blueberry pancakes, and to get all buddy buddy with Angelica, all so we can sniff out where your sister’s hiding this document.’

  Nedina gave us a hopeful smile. ‘Yes. That’s what I’m asking. And if I know Angelica, she won’t make it easy. You might have to have breakfast with her every day this week. And I think it’d be a good idea if you accepted those free tickets to Skeleton Skies, too.’

  I put on my game face. Yes, the pancakes and the play sounded like they might be perks rather than problems. But nevertheless, the troubled feeling was multiplying by the moment. Even the hairs on the back of my neck were standing to attention.

  ‘What do you think, Hamish?’ I asked.

  The dog sucked back some drool. ‘Well, it sounds like a truly horrible job,’ he said. ‘But someone’s gotta do it.’

  2. A Very Befuddling Fountain

  Angelica had been delighted at our change of heart. She gave us the best table in Angel Cakes, just outside the door with a view of the small green and the street’s fountain. As I watched the water flow, I turned to Hamish. ‘I’ve always been afraid to get this close to the fountain before. Seeing as it involves getting awfully close to Angelica’s café. And up until today, that meant that Ned might kill me as punishment, then bring me back from the dead just so she could kill me all over again. But now that I’m looking at it close up, I just can’t figure out… what is it?’