Bricking It (A Wayfair Witches Cozy Mystery #2) Page 4

  I dragged my eyes from the ground and turned to Melissa, a bright smile pasted on my face. ‘I know, right? You would’ve thought that Berrys would be smart, considering all the schemes they’ve got going on. I have no idea what his problem is. Anyway, shall we get to Luna’s Gúnas?’

  Melissa grinned. ‘We most certainly shall.’

  4. Skeletons in the Changing Room

  I had never been to Luna’s Gúnas before. Apparently it was the go-to shop for female Irish witches looking for a dress for a special occasion. Witches had a tendency to use very little Latin in this neck of the woods. Instead we used a smattering of Irish words in our business- and place-names and even some of our incantations. Gúna, being the Irish word for dress, was one such example. Luna herself … well, her name was far from Irish. She was a member of the Luna coven. I’d never met any of them, but they were infamous among witches, and I was looking forward to finding out what the fuss was about.

  The shop was by appointment only, and you had to buzz a bell on the door to gain entry. The wooden frames of the windows and doors were painted a deep indigo, with silver moons and hearts embossed on the edges. A few of her dresses were displayed in the window. There were no price tags. Already, I was feeling nervous. My mother had given me a lot of money. I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to spend it all, but I had the sinking feeling that it would just about cover the cost.

  Melissa pressed the buzzer, and a voice spoke to us – not through an intercom, but into our very ears. Kind of creepy if I do say so myself. ‘Luna’s Gúnas. Have you got an appointment?’

  ‘It’s Melissa and Wanda Wayfair. We should be in the book.’ Melissa’s real surname was Brady, but she and Christine went by Wayfair. I suddenly wondered if she’d still use the Wayfair name now that she was working for the Minister for Magical Law. From what I’d seen so far, most people who worked for the Minister referred to themselves as Plimptons.

  The door opened and I followed her inside, casting the worry aside. A large, silver-haired woman approached us. She wore robes in the same colour scheme as the shop’s exterior. Her arms were outstretched, but I got the impression it wasn’t because she wanted a hug, rather it was just a thing she did. Her smile was … well let’s just say it was friendly and leave it at that. You know what, I can’t leave it at that. It was beyond friendly and partially entering crazy territory. But having heard all I had about the Luna coven, I should hardly have been surprised.

  ‘You must be Wanda.’ Her eyes roved up and down my form. ‘My, but you look exactly like your namesake.’

  ‘Oh, thanks.’ Seeing as every picture or statue of Wanda the Wayfarer looked different to the next, and she had died many centuries ago, there was really no way Luna could have a clue what she looked like.

  ‘And Melissa, always good to have you here.’ She clasped Melissa’s hand in hers. ‘What’ll it be, girls? Elderflower wine? Sloe gin fizz?’

  ‘We’ll go with the elderflower, thanks,’ Melissa replied. ‘We’ve got some more shopping to do this afternoon. Your cocktails are … let’s just say they’re heady.’

  Luna laughed. ‘They are, aren’t they? My sister Luna makes them, along with my sister Luna.’ She smiled at me. ‘They run Lunas’ Nightclub. Maybe we’ll see you in there one weekend, now that you’ve returned to the fold.’

  I nodded. It was really all I could do. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, that was not a series of typos. It’s true. Every member of the Luna coven is named Luna. Men and women alike. No other name. Just Luna. You can see why I was eager to meet one.

  While Luna fetched our drinks, Melissa and I began looking at the dresses. There was a section on the right side of the shop dedicated to the latest fashions. I had seen similar creations on some of the witch fashion channels. They were pretty much what you’d expect in the human world on a night out – revealing in the right places, sparkles that stopped shy of being tacky. There were some differences, though. No sizes, for a start. Things just automatically fit, which was really great when you’ve had a few too many and followed it up with a kebab.

  There were also pockets which would conceal a wand, if a witch chose to use one. Even witches who had long grown out of the need for a wand tended to take one when they planned on drinking. Magic wasn’t quite so easy to direct while drunk. You know what they say: if you’re going to play, then please play safe.

  ‘Oh my goddess, I am in love with this dress.’ Melissa picked up a slinky dress in emerald green.

  ‘How much do you think it is?’ I whispered. ‘Nothing here is priced.’

  ‘Yeah. It’s one of those places where if you need to ask, then you can’t afford it. But my dad gave me a wad of cash when I graduated. Even with the exchange rate what it is, it still works out at a decent amount. And I could do with something new to wear for your initiation. And … oh, I can’t think of any more ands. Please help me come up with more excuses to buy this dress.’

  Melissa’s father was human – hence the rate she mentioned. Human money wasn’t worth too much to your average witch, considering witch-made products tended to be superior (y’know, because of the magic and all). But it was still necessary if they wanted to blend in whilst in the human world, and most witch banks would exchange.

  ‘Well if money’s no object you should definitely get it,’ I told her. ‘Along with those shoes over there.’

  She followed my eyes to the shoe rack. I wasn’t a shoe person, really. I mean I wore them, but I didn’t quite understand the reason why they cost so much. Looking at the creations in Luna’s shop, I was no longer wondering. These were stunning. A pair of emerald-green high heels to perfectly match Melissa’s dress of choice, with tiny stars that sparkled when the light hit them.

  ‘I’m going to try the whole thing on,’ she said with a gleeful grin. ‘Have you seen anything you like?’

  I had. I was just too afraid to approach it in case I got attached. Ceremonial gowns and cloaks were the norm for an initiation such as mine, and Luna had a whole wall of them. But the pairing that caught my eye was a cloak and gown made out of a shining fabric the colour of moonlight.

  Melissa rushed into a changing room as Luna appeared with drinks and little bowls of snacks. She laid them on a table and walked to the outfit I was coveting.

  ‘Crafted by my brother Luna,’ she said in a hushed voice. ‘His spells are something else, aren’t they?’

  ‘Spells?’ I took a sip of the elderflower wine. ‘Well, that explains why the dress looks so good. What sort of magic is involved?’

  Luna gave me her craziest grin yet. ‘Oh, would that I could tell you, Wanda. Would that I could tell you. I don’t even know. Luna once let a few things spill to Luna, though, after a night on the town. Apparently he’s crafted spells to mimic the elements, the stars, the whole cosmos. This dress is made of magical moonlight. He had one made of fire that went for quite the pretty sum in Paris last week. Of course, that dress requires a garment made of ice to be worn beneath it at all times.’ She cleared her throat. ‘But it did come with a concealed pocket and fire extinguishing wand too. Just in case.’ She picked up the cloak and dress. ‘But this outfit … this one won’t cause your skin to go simultaneously numb and blistery. Oh no. This one will feel like stepping into a bath of cool milk.’

  I chewed on one of the little chocolates she’d brought out. Raspberry burst into my mouth. Delicious. ‘And um … is it in my price range, do you think?’

  Okay, I was wrong just a moment ago. This grin was her craziest one yet. ‘Well, everything’s in your price range, Wanda. Maureen O’Mara made sure of that.’

  I choked down another chocolate, coughing. ‘Excuse me? Did you say Maureen O’Mara?’

  ‘Of course. She left some money here for you a few weeks before she died. I thought it was a little strange, to be honest. We’d all just about given up on you becoming empowered by that stage, hadn’t we?’

  I gritted my teeth. ‘Yes. We had.’ I sat down on a chaise longue. I was sti
ll digesting the news – and the chocolate – so I just let Luna witter on while I thought about it all. Maureen O’Mara was one of the victims of Alice Berry and her vampire lover’s murder spree. I’d only briefly met the woman, but she had seemed to know a lot about where my life was headed. I was stunned to find she had left money for my initiation outfit. Stunned, and very grateful.

  Melissa stepped out of the changing room – even the changing rooms were fancy here, with high wooden doors for absolute privacy. A peek past Melissa revealed that they were enormous, too, with a couch and a floor to ceiling mirror inside.

  ‘What do you think?’ She spun around, somehow moving gracefully despite the enormous heels.

  ‘Amazing,’ I said. ‘It’s perfect.’ It truly was. The colour managed to make her milky skin and dark red hair look all the more striking. And the cut of the dress, paired with the shoes, made her tall, slim body look graceful and sexy at the same time.

  ‘Do you think I should try on a few more, just in case?’

  I shrugged. ‘You can if you want, but I don’t see the point. You know perfectly well you’re going to buy that one in the end. And when you know, you know.’

  Luna nodded to the moonlight outfit. ‘Wanda has fallen for this one. I think she should try it on, but she’s reluctant.’

  Melissa’s eyes grew round. ‘Oh my stars. You should definitely try that on.’

  I drained my glass, feeling ever-so-slightly tipsy. If this was what the elderflower wine did, then I was glad Melissa had cautioned against the sloe gin fizz. ‘I’m not sure it’s me.’

  ‘Oh, it’s you,’ said Luna. ‘It’s definitely you. I can just see you now, standing in the field behind Wayfarers’ Rest, twirling in the moonlight while your coven chants around you.’

  Melissa caught my eye and shook her head slightly. I knew what she was trying to say, but she needn’t have bothered. Wayfarers’ Rest wasn’t going to be the location for my initiation, but Luna didn’t need to know that. No one did. I smiled, nodded, and took the dress from her arms. ‘You know what, you’re right. I think I will try it on, after all.’

  Luna pointed to a second changing room, and I approached the heavy wooden door, admiring the craftsmanship. Inside, I found a couch as big as my bed and mirrors on all four walls so I could see myself from every angle. Maybe that’s fun if you’re a skinny gal with no cellulite in sight. I got out of my own clothes and into the gown and robe as quickly as I could. It fit me as though it was made for my body (and considering my rather generous hips and bosom, that’s a tall order, with or without magical fabric). Even I thought I looked okay.

  I was just about to call Melissa in for a second opinion when I did a sudden double take. There, reflected in the mirror, was a broad, bearded man in a shabby blue T-shirt, sitting on the couch. The man’s hands were covering his eyes like he was playing peek-a-boo with himself in the mirror. Well, that was the cute explanation. Other explanations for hands over eyes? Oh, I don’t know – maybe because the man had seen something terrifyingly evil before he was murdered in the most heinous way possible. But y’know, I try to look on the bright side, so let’s just go with peek-a-boo.

  I turned around, my chest thumping. The blue T-shirt was gone. The beard and the generously-fleshed body too. But the room wasn’t empty. Where the large man had been sitting, a skeleton now sat on the couch.

  I peered closer, waving my hand in front of the skeleton. Nothing. Had I really expected a reaction? Wildly shivering, I pulled open the door. ‘Luna. Melissa. You guys have to see this.’

  As Melissa and Luna came to the door, Luna’s crazed grin left her face, and was replaced by a crazed grimace. ‘There’s a skeleton,’ she gasped. ‘There’s a skeleton in my changing room!’

  5. Making Peace

  Melissa and I wandered around the shelves of the Pointer Brothers Wand Store, half-heartedly picking up training wands and setting them down again. Every so often we would glance out the window at the scene across the road.

  Luna had called the Peacemakers as soon as she saw the skeleton, and they’d arrived at the shop in a matter of seconds. There had been two of them initially, but now there was a whole team. When they questioned Melissa, Luna and me, they had been just about as rude as I expected them to be. When Melissa and I stated our coven as Wayfair, however, the rudeness had been dialled up by quite a few notches. We had been rushed out of the shop by an angry Peacemaker (well, they were all angry to be fair) who had told us to stay the hell out of their investigation.

  I was a bit tired of people telling me to stay out of investigations, to be honest. Especially when I was staying out. It wasn’t my fault that investigations were finding me. If anything, I took it as a sign that my obsession with becoming a full-on Wayfair was the right choice to make.

  Melissa curled her lip. ‘Look at her.’ She pointed to a female Peacemaker. We could only tell she was female by the shape of her grey and black breastplate. Otherwise, with the helmets the Peacemakers wore, covering their faces, hair, and humanity, we would have had no idea. ‘She’s barely out of school. Who does she think she is, telling us to stay out of her investigation? If that’s a witch’s skeleton, then it’s our investigation. Well, our mothers’ investigation, anyway.’

  ‘I don’t think she believed me when I said it was Franklin from Franklin’s Familiars. But it was definitely him. I mean, I only saw him this lunchtime in your mam’s scrying bowl. He’s not exactly a forgettable looking man.’

  Melissa tutted. ‘Oh, I know full well that if you say it was Franklin, then it was Franklin. But it doesn’t matter whether that stupid witch believed it was Franklin or not. Either way, it’s a witch, meaning it’s Wayfair jurisdiction. There isn’t a Pendant of Privilege on the skeleton.’

  I cocked an eyebrow. ‘Are you serious? Even when you’re dead you can’t get into a witch enclave without a Pendant of Privilege?’

  Melissa gave me a guilty little shrug. No doubt she was thinking about what would have happened if I’d never become empowered. ‘Afraid so. I’ve heard a rumour that you even need them in the afterlife.’

  ‘The afterlife.’ I snorted. ‘You mean a joke, I think, not a rumour.’

  She shook her head. ‘No, really. A necromancer from Crooked College told me.’

  I snorted again. ‘Necromancers are morons. Even if they could bring someone back from the dead, then they’re still morons. You shouldn’t mess around with that stuff.’

  ‘I guess so.’ Melissa picked up yet another bright orange wand. In fact, all of the training wands were brightly coloured. They also had labels and arrows, either end. On the handle, it said, ‘Hold at this end.’ On the tip it said, ‘Point at this end.’

  ‘Dear Gretel,’ I grumbled. ‘There has to be something less embarrassing.’

  I realised that Melissa was no longer paying attention to me. She was looking out the window again. I followed her gaze. A tall, well-muscled guy had just approached Luna’s Gúnas. Even from here, I could tell he was a werewolf. They gave off a certain scent that was unmistakable. Melissa was certainly responding to said scent. As was the female Peacemaker. I could hear her giggling at whatever he was saying. He was giving her his cockiest grin, standing with his legs apart, brushing a hand through his carefully dishevelled hair.

  His nose went into the air, and he tossed his head to his left. A short guy was walking along the street with his head down. He had a shopping bag in his hands, and was clearly in a hurry. Judging by the fact that he was wearing a scarf, and that his nose was bright red and he was sneezing, I guessed the poor guy was suffering with an autumn cold.

  The werewolf muttered something to the Peacemaker, and she glanced at the short guy. As he passed by them, she called out, ‘You. Weredog. Stop.’

  I guess he didn’t hear, because he kept on walking. Barely a second had passed before the Peacemaker whipped out her truncheon, pointed it at the weredog’s rear end and shouted, ‘I said stop.’

  A crackling light shot out o
f the truncheon and hit the weredog. He fell to the ground, and his body began to spasm and convulse.

  ‘Peacemakers use freaking electro shock weapons here?!’

  Melissa shook her head. ‘It’s a spell that does something similar,’ she said with a hollow tone. ‘Let’s just say the selection process for Peacemakers isn’t too stringent. A lot of them aren’t exactly the most intelligent magic users. Hence the truncheon. It’s basically a big, thick wand.’

  ‘We have to help him,’ I said, heading for the street. ‘He didn’t do anything.’

  Melissa pulled me back inside the shop. ‘Any other day I would completely agree. But the Minister already has it in for you, Wanda.’

  The weredog had stopped shaking, but he stayed on the ground, looking up at the Peacemaker in shock. ‘What did I do?’

  ‘You shouldn’t be in our enclave is what you did.’

  The weredog blinked. ‘I was given a one-day Pendant of Privilege. I had to get medicine that they only sell at Aherne’s Apothecary.’

  ‘Well then.’ The Peacemaker bent down. ‘Where is this pendant you swear you have?’

  He fumbled with his scarf. ‘Here.’ He pulled out the ugly gold chain with the snot-green pendant that I’d had to wear not so long ago. ‘I must have covered it up with my scarf by accident. Sorry?’

  I could see why he had phrased sorry as a question. What did he really have to be sorry about? The Peacemaker had known full well he was wearing a Pendant of Privilege. It would have been physically impossible for him to gain entry to Warren Lane otherwise.

  ‘So you should be,’ she snarled. I noticed that a few other Peacemakers had left Luna’s Gúnas and were surrounding the weredog. ‘A Pendant of Privilege is supposed to be on display at all times. So we know who’s a witch and who isn’t.’